..my anticipation..

I apologize about not posting anything lately. It’s been near impossible to complete anything that’s outside of work and school. Even as I am typing this out, I’m sitting in my school’s computer wing before I go off to Organic Chemistry.

So my last RCIA class was very moving. Everyone had tears in their eyes. The title of Tuesday’s class was the Dignity of Life. Of course all of the topics of causing death were talked about. But the presenter, one of the ladies on the RCIA team had two very emotional ones to talk about: abortion and euthanasia. The first story had a lot of impact. It was about a girl she knew that got pregnant at 16. She was told by one side of the family that she should have an abortion. Her boyfriend decided to quit school and start working, preparing to take care of the baby. Thank God she decided to not abort the baby. The reason why this story is so important to the presenter is that the 16 year old girl in the story is her daughter-in-law. The presenter said that without the power of prayer, the mercy of God, and the love and support of the families, that her first grandbaby would be dead now.

That really got to me because right now, my cousin is in a major hard place. She’s been pregnant 5 times so far, with only two not dying. The three that died were all boys, and they all had developmental brain problems that caused them to either have no brain or have a partial brain. Only one died after birth, whereas the other two died inside of her. My cousin is like my older sister, since my parents took care of her when she was a child. Both of our families are really close, and I see her two daughters as my nieces. Well, last week, she found out that she’s pregnant again. But she’s really worried. She won’t know what’s going on with her baby, and if it’s a boy or girl for a couple of months. I really feel for her. She’s such a wonderful woman, and a wonderful mother. I don’t know what her relationship with God is, since she’s on my mom’s side of the family (my dad’s side is Catholic), but I pray that God will have mercy on her and that her baby will be well.

The other topic was euthanasia, and I truly doubted that I’d be affected by discussion of it until our presenter told us something. She started to describe her husband’s fight with different ailments over time. He had a cramp in his leg that wouldn’t go away. Ended up being a blood clot that they couldn’t take care of (think of House from the TV show… that’s what he had) and it was threatening to send blood clots to his heart, so they amputated it. Okay, that’s fine, people have amputations every day. Then he had pain in his hip. For a long time, he just took painkillers. When the pain became unbearable, he decided to go to the doctor’s. It was cancer. Okay, that’s fine, people get cancer and go into remission everyday. So, he got radiation treatment. After all of his treatment was finished, he got the pain back, and even worse. Now, they’re saying that it’s unoperable because they don’t know the source of the cancer, and they’ve found it in his lymphnodes. So they told his wife, the presenter, that all treatments from here on out would be just to limit the pain that he’s in. He’s dying. And so she said something like, “Will there be days where he will want to end it? Yes. Will there be days that I will want to grant him mercy and turn up the medications so he is in no pain? Of course. Will there be times that either of us will feel that God isn’t providing salvation from the pain, when we may even doubt God’s goodness? Very much so. But the point is, God does provide. God will have mercy. God will save. Once my husband is in Heaven, as hard as it will be for me to lose him, he will be free of worldly pain and suffering. I trust enough in God to believe that.”

…more to come…

It’s been a while since I’ve wrote about the RCIA classes. I just started a new job on top of school midterms, so it’s not like I’ve been doing nothing! So, the past two weeks had to deal with the Bible, Old and New Testament. The 3rd class started with Father Jim explaining to us not the beginning of the Bible, but the beginning of when the Bible and Biblical stories were being passed down. He showed us how the Pentateuch was pretty much finished around 1000 BC, or the time of King David. Around the reign of David, the Bible’s other books started to emerge, such as the Prophets, the Wisdom and the Historical books. That class was a little short due to other things we had to do in class.

However, last night’s class was extremely interesting and long. The New Testament and the early Catholic Church were described class. Father Jim showed us the approximate times the Gospel writers lived (and wrote) and the importance of St. Paul’s letters. To expound on the reason why Tradition is held in such high regard in Catholicism, he told us of something that happened around the same time John was writing his Gospel. A group of early Christian converts had a question to ask. At that time, Clemente was the fourth Pope in the Church. The group of Christians lived in a town over from John, but instead of just asking him for advice and an answer, they asked Pope Clemente. And this happened other times, too, so it gives the reasoning of why Tradition is so important. The earliest Christians asked the successor to Peter questions instead of asking the man involved in writing the New Testament. It’s a very interesting thing to think about, especially when certain groups uphold their idea that the Pope isn’t a successor to Peter, or that Peter lost the keys so he doesn’t have a rightful successor.

I think it’s beautiful that the Church has an unbroken line of both successors and the Holy Spirit guiding it for over 2000 years. It’s kind of disheartening that we didn’t have enough time to go over the Council of Nicea and the fact that the Catholic Church actually decided on what books would be included in the Bible at the beginning of Christianity. Most Protestant denominations don’t understand that key part. Yes, they took out 7 books from the Bible long after it had been decided at Nicea what would be included, and yet they’ll tell other people that Catholicism “added” the 7 books. Also, there are some crazy denominations that call Catholicism “the whore of Babylon” or call it Satanism in disguise. Using scripture, they’ll try to say that Catholicism is inherently evil because we ask Saints to pray for us and that we call the priest (who stands in persona Christi) Father, even though without the early Christians (aka Catholics), they wouldn’t have that scripture at all. Then there are all the people who claim that you have to take the whole Bible (or just the New Testament) literally will not take the scene of Jesus and his Apostles at the Last Supper seriously. To quote scripture:

Mark 14:22-24: While they were eating, he took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and gave it to them, and said, “Take it; this is my body.” Then he took a cup, gave thanks, and gave it to them, and they all drank from it. He said to them, “This is my blood of the covenant, which will be shed for many.”

Luke 22:19-20: Then he took the bread, said the blessing, broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which will be given for you; do this in memory of me.” And likewise the cup after they had eaten, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which will be shed for you.”

Matthew 26:26-28: While they were eating, Jesus took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and giving it to his disciples said, “Take and eat; this is my body.” Then he took a cup, gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which will be shed on behalf of many for the forgiveness of sins.”

1 Corinthians 11:23-26: For I received from the Lord what I also handed on to you, that the Lord Jesus, on the night he was handed over, took bread, and, after he had given thanks, broke it and said, “This is my body that is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way also the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the death of the Lord until he comes.

I don’t know about everyone else, but for the people who can take some of the things in Revelations literally (even though John and his students wrote in a more allegorical style), but can’t take these passages from Sts. Mark, Luke, Matthew, and Paul literally needs a head check. No matter what time line you give these four books from the Bible, it’s hard to imagine that Jesus wasn’t being literal when he said that it really was his Body and Blood. There are other clues in the Bible itself that show that some of his disciples were distraught because it really was his Body and Blood, and they were turned off from the Last Supper because of it. They, the people who left Jesus, really did believe then that it was his Real Presence in the hosts. People all through the early Christian communities believed this was true, as why Paul mentions it in his writings. They may have asked him how to receive the Eucharist because later on in his passage, it describes what will happen if people take the Eucharist unworthily. But, somewhere between the Last Supper and the Reformation, Protestants got the idea that Jesus wasn’t being serious. Even if they don’t count the teachings and Tradition of the Catholic Church throughout the ages, all the evidence Sola Scriptura (in scripture alone) prove that the Eucharist is real and it was instituted by Jesus.

Well, as you can tell, it’s one of those things that I can be an apologetic on. It’s very important to me that people see through what they’ve been taught about the Bible and read the words themselves. That’s why after reading about how important Baptism is and what the Eucharist is, I spent a lot of time searching through the New Testament, researching exactly how well the Catholic teaching and Tradition matched up with scripture (just to see if the claims by Protestants were true) and it showed that Catholicism pulls everything it does directly from the Word of God.

Thursday night, I went to a special event at my parish. Our local Knights of Columbus were taking care of a picture of Our Lady of Charity, and they decided to have a special procession of it into our Church on the night we usually have a Rosary. So, the 4th degree color guard comes into the Church in full regalia, carrying the picture. We have a small prayer service, the booklet of which can be found here. During our prayer service, we have a normal Rosary (which I prefer, instead of the scriptural Rosary which can be distracting). Afterwards, we have a normal Mass. It was really interesting and really cool. Not only was it a first time for me, it was nice seeing over 50 people attending, when our normal Rosary only includes maybe 10.

So, this morning is the 90th anniversary of Our Lady of Fatima showing the Miracle of the Sun. I was told at the Rosary on Thursday that at noon today, there would be a public rosary in a park in a nearby town. After it was supposed to be some type of procession or celebration or Mass, I’m not sure. When the guy told me about it, he got kind of sad because he couldn’t go to it since his car died. The lady behind us said “God will provide…” and it kind of got to me. I was so enthralled to learn of the procession at my church at RCIA that I wondered how I was going to go, with school and all. And sure enough, my partner for that class said that she’d trade me days of going since our teacher doesn’t teach us anyways. I was also happy to finally get a job after (feeling worthless) and it happened while I was really down. When I saw how much weight I’ve gained and felt sick, my boyfriend picked me up and said “Nope. That scale must be wrong because I can pick you up higher than I could before.” Even if it is a false hope, that the scale was right, or that he’s gained more muscle, it was the best thing anyone could say to me at that moment.

But it is true, God will provide. It may not be exactly what we thought we needed or what we wanted, but He’ll provide us with what he knows we can handle and what we should be handling. Although I have my moments where I’m stuck in a rut, God somehow picks me back up and shows me his love so I can move on.

In my last post, I described that there were a lot of items in the Church that are named in Latin (because we are the Latin-Rite). So, I’ve comprised a list of words that we discussed, and I will give it’s Latin translation (if it has one) and it’s etymology (courtesy of the Oxford Dictionary).

Sacred Vessels:
monstrance/ostensorium: L. monstrans/L. ostendere = to show, reveal, display, exhibit.
pyx: L. pyxis from Gr. πυξίς = a box.
ciborium: L. ciborium = drinking cup and L. cibus = food.*
chalice: L. calix, calicem = cup, goblet, a vessel for drinking, cup of wine.
paten: L. patena, patina possibly from Gr. πατάνη = wide shallow vessel, pan, dish.

Vestments:
alb: L. alba = white.
amice: L. amictus = cloak, mantle, outer garment, clothing.
cincture: L. cinctura = ring, girdle.
stole: L. stola possibly from Gr. στολή = dress, clothing.**
maniple: L. manipulus = handful, bundle.
chasuble: L. casula = little/small/humble cottage, hut.***
surplice: L. superpellicium from A.Fr. surpliz = over, above (super-), fur garment (-pellicium).
cope: L. capa = cape, cloak, cassock, cope, mantle.

Miscellaneous:
censer: L. incensarium = vessel in which incense is burnt, thurible.
liturgy: L. liturgia from Gr. λειτονργία = public worship, service of the God(s).
humeral veil: L. humerale = cape, protective shoulder cover; outer robe.

*For ciborium, the word in Latin literally means “drinking cup,” but it has gotten its churchly meaning partly out of a mistaken derviation from L. cibus (food).
**For stole, the word in Latin has a feminine connotation. It was stated in the Oxford entry that the word was not found prior to the 9th century. Although it’s true origin is obscure, it can be safely assume that the word takes root in the Latin and Greek stated above.
***For chasuble, the Latin word casula was taken from the word casa, or house. It seems to have been a localized version of the classical word paenula, or hooded weatherproof cloak. By the 400’s, casula had already come to mean what it means today.

I must admit that etymology is fun! It was really cool to see that a lot of these words are Latin-based. Some go back farther into Greek, which is also interesting. It’s also interesting to see when certain words lost their original meaning, as in the case with ciborium and chasuble. I’d love it if you’d comment and send me some words that you’ve been wanting to know the etymology of, even if they’re not from the Church.

Last night, after rushing to Church from school, I had my second class in RCIA. It wasn’t too big of a deal. In fact, I wish it would’ve lasted longer. We started, for the first time, with a prayer service. They played a song, Abba Father, on the CD player, and then we read the readings for this upcoming Sunday. I really wish we would’ve gone over the readings like we do in Bible study and begin to apply them to our lives or to that week or whatever. Instead, we just sat there and then had a break. After the break, we watched a video about the things, people, and places in the Church. I only learned one new thing, and that was about why certain Churches are called Basilicas. I really wanted to point out something that I learned in French class. In French, the word “une église” is the word for “(a) church,” but it only refers to a Catholic church. A Christian church that isn’t Catholic is called “un temple”. It’s actually meant as more of an insult to Protestants because France was a Catholic country. I was too shy to point it out.

Next thing we did was go into the church and Father Jim showed us everything. (After saying something out loud about how I am a star student… Which I disliked because I know I don’t know everything…) He started off with the Baptismal Font and the Paschal Candle. Then he moved onto the sacred oils in their little niche. It was kind of interesting because I had never seen them before. I didn’t even know that they were stored in one of the pillars of our church. He actually passed around the Sacred Chrism to let us smell it. It was very… soothing. Although he said that they stick a kind of evergreen branch in it to give it that smell, it smelt like cloves. Cloves to me have always come to represent family because whenever there’s a big celebration in my family, we make ham with cloves. So, Christmas dinner, Thanksgiving dinner, Easter dinner… my house smells like a giant clove. It was nice to know that the oil that will help bring me into my new spiritual family smells like family (if that makes sense).

Next, we all lined up in front of the altar. He explained some of the things around the altar and had us sit down in the pews. (We had been standing up for nearly 30 minutes because Father Jim talks with such passion and at length about the things he loves). The next section was kind of boring because if you go to Mass at all, you’d know the items. Someone asked a great question about bowing towards the altar/tabernacle (they’re right behind one another), and how to know when to genuflect, kneel, bow, etc. And he explained it very well. You genuflect (if you can) at your pew before entering. After mass has already started, the lectors and cantors will bow to the altar. (Our Bishop told them to do it). During Eucharistic Adoration, when you leave your pew, you kneel towards the monstrance, and then leave. It was easy stuff for me because I observe a lot during Mass. I also wondered why the lectors and cantors were coming up the middle (between the pulpit and altar) now instead of coming up the side of the sanctuary where the pulpit stood and bowed towards the tabernacle. So, a few of my questions were answered.

We then walked to the clergy sacristy (we also have a Eucharistic sacristy where the extraordinary ministers of the Eucharist find out where they’re going and also a “refill” station where they keep the supplies of wine and bread.). Father showed us the monstrance, the ciborium, the chalice, the paten, the censer, and all of his vestments*. We went over our time limit by ten minutes, and we didn’t get a really good look at the reconciliation room. But, we all know it’s there.

Afterwards, I had to ask him if he’d be presiding over Mass this morning because I wanted to talk to him, but my phone was buzzing in my pants. (I didn’t tell him that.) He wasn’t, and we talked a little bit. I told him about my experience at the monastery and we talked about how the sisters don’t have any young people in their convents now. They have interested ones, and I told him about the girl who’s really interested at joining the Carmelites and is only 15. I told him about how she kneeled in front of the sanctuary during Eucharistic Adoration at the age of 4. We started to talk about God and he was telling me about when he first “felt” God at the age of 2. I really don’t remember everything he said because he was on the other side of the Church, and my phone was buzzing again. I also knew that my boyfriend was back in the classroom and he was waiting for me to leave, so I let Father Jim know that I had to go, but that I would see him soon. I went back in the room, and my boyfriend had collected all of my stuff and was ready to go. My boyfriend kissed me goodnight when we were outside and I thanked him again, for everything. I listened to my phone (my family wanted me to pick up milk), and then I went home and went to bed.

*Will be continued on another post.

I have no idea how to explain everything. First, I woke up to take my brother to school, then I started my daily chores, and then I went to daily Mass. Father Jim was apparently discombobulated when he came into Mass late, and he explained that he had a funeral he had to preside over. Totally understandable. Afterwards, though, I was a little selfish (because I couldn’t talk to him Sunday) and I talked to him about my day ahead while he was taking off his vestments. He actually took the time to tell me to calm down and soak in the peacefulness when I went to the local Carmelite monastery.

So, after completing the rest of my chores, I started off on the hour drive to the Discalced Carmelite Monastery of St. Thérèse. I was so nervous when I went up to the door. The door is HUGE. So I rang the door bell. After a few minutes, I knocked on the knocker and heard the most hollow noise. Soon after, Sister Margaret Mary, the extern Sister came up to the door and let me inside. She took me to a room where I could interview the Prioress there, Mother Mary Elizabeth and let me know that she’d be there as soon as she could. The room has a grille. It was a quaint little room. I wish I would’ve had enough time to go to the chapel.

Once Mother came in, it was fun and informative. Although this is for an assignment, I felt like I was just asking her questions that I wanted to know. As I told her, I know my vocation at this time in my life is not being a sister, she described how you find the day that you know what you are and what you want to be. She also let me know that she’s a convert to Catholicism from Episcopalian, and when she was approx. 3 weeks Catholic, she went to a live-in at a monastery. Actually, she said that she believes God made her Catholic so she could be a nun.

Mother Mary Elizabeth was so sweet, nice, and happy. All of the pictures she showed me were of smiling nuns who looked like they’re in love. I know they’re in love with Jesus, but you could tell that they loved devoting their lives to prayer and the contemplative life. I was kind of envious because I wish I could be that loving and peaceful. Maybe one day I’ll become a nun. If I am widowed, I’d love to become a nun once my kids are grown up. But I don’t think I could become cloistered.

Father was right - you need to bask in the peace there. Ironically enough, as soon as I got on the highway to drive back home, I was stressed out of my mind.

I went to the first day/session of RCIA with my boyfriend last night. At first, I was nervous, but it subsided quickly. Got to meet the RCIA team, and I recognized all of them. Some go to daily Mass, others I’ve sat by during church. For the first hour, while people still walked in, they started to explain what’s going to happen and when. Father Jim came in and started talking about the church. He highlighted some of the high points in our two booklets. They’re called “Journey of Faith: Inquiry,” so maybe there are more of these booklets when we get into the other sections. So, the first booklet is subtitled “Your Journey of Faith,” and the second is “Catholics and Church.” Father Jim really didn’t go over them, but instead talked about God. It was perfect because as soon as he started talking about God calling us, us answering the call, etc., one of the sponsors’ phone went off. “Thanks for the segue.”

And then he name dropped me. (If you could call it that.) He was talking about the church and said something like “And Danielle over there, she has gotten into the apologetic material. Apologetic not in “oh, I’m sorry I’m Catholic… it kind of happened, I’m sorry,” but as in defending the faith.” He got into the etymology of the word, which is always fun to learn. (My French/Latin teacher always dives into etymology.) It’s not that I don’t want to be an apologetic, but he assumed that I am one when I am not that knowledgeable. I see myself as an overachiever and a curious soul, and if that leads me to defend the faith, I can see why he keeps calling me that.

Later on, we discussed the Catechism of the Catholic Church, aka the Instruction Manual. Father was talking about how the very first ones were in the Q and A style, and someone pulled out an old Baltimore Catechism. He was reading the first couple of passages, and asked if anyone had heard of it. A few people raised their hand and he said “So, Danielle, what have you heard about it?” and I just stared at him and said “I don’t know.” I felt kinda stupid, but I guess this will become a challenge to learn more so I can answer those types of questions. It’s weird being put on the spot like that. Maybe I’m his protégé.

It was pretty cool to see a room of 30+ people (about half sponsors and half candidates) of like-minded people. The second half of the class was devoted to introductions. So, everyone had to introduce themselves, and that wasn’t as nerve-racking as I thought it’d be. After another little discussion from the Team about our special guest speakers, we were done. Since I drove my boyfriend there and his mom wasn’t going to be back for a while, we went back to his house. I’m really happy and kind of proud of him for stepping up, making everyone laugh at introduction time, and being my sponsor. I’m elated that he’s even going to switch around his schedule, register with the parish, and devote his time to this. Makes me love and appreciate him even more.

I’m going to start typing out pieces of the booklets and any handouts we have so anyone who’s interested in the faith can start discerning and learning without going to a class. For all other RCIA candidates in class right now, my prayers are with you on your journey.

Tuesday starts the first day of RCIA. The only thing I wish is that this first class won’t just be an “ice-breaker” or introduction class. I mean, it’s fine if it introduces the process and stuff like that… but I won’t feel too swell if I don’t learn anything the first day. I know that may sound rude, but I have been patiently waiting and I am ready to be a sponge. That being said, I’m getting nervous and giddy about it. My boyfriend might actually come up there with me. I hate talking in front of other people, and so does he, so our introductions will seem so boring. “Hi, I’m Danielle, and I’m here to become Catholic.” I hate ice-breakers more than you can imagine. I will also feel weird if they ask me a million questions on why I want to become Catholic. It’s already an odd thing to discuss in front of strangers, but take a group of strangers and add my boyfriend and his mother, and things will get interesting. Plus, there is no “right” answer, so I don’t know if my answer will be sufficient. I am perpetually afraid that when I tell the truth, I may be thought of as not wanting it enough or something like that.

This upcoming semester/year is going to be difficult. I’m kind of afraid that I’m not going to get all that I can out of school and RCIA at the same time. It’s like having two huge sides of me fight over who gets the brain. Let me explain: over the summer when I was at a lack of school, my spiritual side thrived. I felt so moved by every Mass that I felt complete just sitting before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. In fact, I wish I would’ve gone to a Eucharistic Adoration at least once during the summer. On the other hand, when I’m in school, I immerse myself in my studies. In the same way that there’s nothing quite like sitting in Church at night with the lights dimmed, and praying in the shadows of candlelight, there’s also nothing quite like measuring and mixing chemicals while it’s pitch black outside. I will say that both really remind me of all the times I was in a play or working on a play in high school, and “hell week” was upon us. I’d spend from 2:15 to almost 9 or 10 working on lighting, rehearsals, speeches, etc. Being able to be around so many like-minded people at night was moving to say the least. Balancing homework during that time was an act in itself. There is something about the night that makes my heart move. Whether it be in the lab, in the auditorium, with my boyfriend, or at Mass… it’s hard to describe.

Therefore, I’m afraid that four things in my life are going to be competing until Easter. My schooling, which my parents have always made me put first in my life, is going to be getting difficult. Latin and French have been draining me already, and I’ve only had one test in each. Organic Chemistry kicked me hard in the rear on our first test, after I had studied about 6 hours. And Sociology of Religion? Well, I don’t know how to take that one. We have take-home tests that are during the same time I’d normally be studying for the other tests (which are during school), so I don’t know how I feel about it yet. On top of that, our observational research paper is our final exam (I think), and since that’ll mix my religion into it… I may be more focused on that more than anything. So, after school, I have RCIA and my religious life to make my next priority. I’m only going to be investing about 2 or 3 hours a week for it (between class and Sunday Mass), but it’ll affect my brain and heart daily. And, knowing myself, I’m going to be in Church as much as I can. My boyfriend and my family are next on the list. It’s hard to put them third, but right now, if I don’t deal with the first two as the first two, my family life will be miserable. The last one is my job issue. I have no job as of now, but both tomorrow and Tuesday, I have interviews to go to. (Interviews give me “stress-face”: pimples and blemishes galore!) If I get a job, I’m probably going to have to make my family/boyfriend last on the list. Yay for nights and weekends!

And, so, with all that stress and responsibilities, I must say I’m putting something pretty important last. And that’s myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’d gladly put others before myself, but I know myself very well. When I give myself so much to do, I am a ball of stress and everything else that comes with stress. I get sick very easy, I start losing weight, and I start to lack the qualities that make me me. I’m going to try to make sure that doesn’t happen… but I know it will.

As my Anticipation builds towards one of the most important days in my life… so does my stress levels…

This Tuesday night, after class, is the season premiere of House M.D. And, boy am I excited. Anyways, that being said, a week following House (during the same time, sadly) is the first RCIA class. I’m nervous. Not only are we supposed to be having many awesome speakers, but my boyfriend is stepping up to be my Sponsor. In fact, I’m really happy about that. He’s starting to not whine about going to church, and his demeanor inside church has changed. Maybe this is a learning and growing process for the both of us.

Now to get down to the nitty gritty: I have homework. No, not just some random homework from a random class. This is the only piece of homework I have to do for my Sociology of Religion class. An observational research paper on a religious center of my choosing. Which is cool. You’re not supposed to write about the religion you are, but technically I’m not Catholic yet. (The only time I’m glad I can say that!) So, at first, I was considering writing about my parish, but I think that’s a little small to write a huge paper on. Although I could go on for hours about how smart Father Jim and Deacon Jerry are, and how they make you think with their homilies, I suppose that’s not the best observational topic. I looked around a lot, and was considering talking about the religious life. Maybe even the differences between the religious of different denominations of Christianity, if I can’t get a good enough paper just out of the Catholic religious. But, a group of people I would really love to learn about are the local nuns.

Around here, we have the Sisters, Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary (IHM), the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist, and the Felician Sisters. All in a 25 mile radius of my house. I talked to Father and Deacon about my research assignment, and I may have found a deeper topic that would pique my interest enough to write a great paper. It deals with what they said about how the IHM right now is in a state like the priesthood is in: the average age of the members is very high, and they don’t have many vocations. The Felicians and Dominicans, on the other hand, are showing an increase in vocations as well as a much younger average age. To paraphrase the conversation, it’s because the Felicians and Dominicans are more intense in their spiritual endeavors meanwhile the IHM’s around here live a much “normal” life and not a contemplative or active-contemplative lifestyle.

So, I am considering contrasting the different local convents/groups for my research paper. Maybe the argument can be made that young people are seeing a major paradigm shift in their lives: the harder the challenge, the more they’ll be up to it. It’s the same reason why a lot of younger seminarians are now interested in the extraordinary form of Mass. I really think that for so long, everything spiritually was getting easier. Not necessarily the changes made with Vatican II (as the N.O. Mass can be beautiful), but the implementation of it’s new rules. I don’t think it’s so much the lack of Latin, but the lack of people who care. It’s not just within the church walls, either, it’s in all of our society now. People are held less responsible for everything, and it’s affecting the quality of our secular and spiritual lives.

I suppose that will be my topic, mixing society with religion. The only stipulation is that I have to have a research partner. (Oh, God.)

I’m in sort of a predicament right now. I have a sinus/sore throat issue, which I decided to self-medicate since it’s been so many times that I’ve gone through this. So, I’ve sipped warm tea, sucked on Chloroseptic lozenges, took my allergy medicine, and took some Sinus tablets. Well, that’s where I messed up. Instead of reading the ingredients in my Sinus medicine, I only looked for whatever had Psuedoephedrine HCl, since that’s all that actually works. (It’s banned from being sold in huge quantities because it can be used to make Methamphetamine- the new nasal decongestants do not work). Leave it up to me to pick the medicine with antihistamines. Right now, it’s hard to stay sitting, let alone standing. I really just want to lay in bed and not get up until the Benadryl knockoff wears off. Let’s just say that all antihistamines make me look completely drunk, and make my head spin.

But, that’s not the worst part. I am jobless, so Saturdays can be my lazy days. I signed up to do face painting this morning at my parish’s festival. It’s in two more hours, so I am not sure if I’ll be okay by then. Between feeling disconnected from the rest of my body and having a sore throat that likes to spring up at random, I don’t know if I can do it. A butterfly may become a blog. So, that’s my predicament.

Instead of getting dressed, I’m reduced to reading books and blogs. I can’t even knit a scarf straight. It’s amazing that I’m even typing this as I really don’t know what’s going on. Or if it what I’m writing makes sense. I think in an hour, I’m going to call the lady up and tell her what’s happening, because I don’t think I could drive for twenty minutes just to turn around and drive back home.

Mmm… sleep.